Wednesday, December 21, 2016

That Spooky Feeling

I'm not an overly superstitious person by nature but I don't tempt fate. So no walking under ladders for me, tossing spilled salt is an easy precaution, and being extra careful on days when a black cat crosses my path is no biggie. I don't really believe that something bad will happen if I step outside on Friday the 13th but I wouldn't go rock climbing or extreme sailing on that day, just in case.

But when it comes to discarding possessions that were given to me, or that belong to someone that has passed, or that belong to my guy or my cat, I suddenly become all sorts of anxious that doing so will somehow cause something bad to happen to gift giver or the owner of the discarded item or me.

Which makes it very difficult to get rid of these things that don't add value to my life or serve any real purpose whatsoever.

Somewhere in the back of my mind I know that my fear is completely illogical. I know that throwing out a possession isn't going to be bring down the wrath of the universe or mean that I wish the sender or owner ill will. But, like with some of my superstitions, I'm not sure I want to tempt fate.

I have no idea where this insane notion came from. I'm guessing it probably comes from a place of guilt. What kind of person am I if I toss a gift that was given to me? What kind of monster am I if I discard something from or belong to a loved one that has passed?

Even if I were to keep every single item given to me, or that is in my possession that belongs to or belonged to a loved one, I would never be able to stop something bad from befalling them. Keeping their things would not prevent their end. And when they are gone, I don't think they'd much care if I kept their stuff or stuff they gave me. Because it's just stuff. It's not them.

Still. Whenever I pick up that unneeded item I want to get rid of, I get the heebie-jeebies. I start to panic. I feel like I'm doing something wrong, wrong, wrong. And so I delay my decision for another day, just in case.

It's hard enough getting rid of stuff I've held on to for so long. It's harder still trying to get rid of stuff that has sentimental value. But thinking about getting rid of stuff that could potentially cause bad things to happen? Impossible.

Which is why I have to figure out a way to ignore that spooky feeling and just get rid of it all once and for all.

Off to do some research on how best to accomplish this.

To be continued...